The Pain of Loss
by KawaiiStar
Summary: About Bardock and his mate, TerranAnd how they feel about having to give up their two sons for the good of the saiyan empire Edit and revised


This idea came in to my head as I was watching the Bardock special at my friend's house.  
  
This fic is about both Bardock and his mate. They never gave her a name so I'm just going to call her Terran any objections? * hears nothing* ok then. Also keep in mind that I'm not that good at spelling and don't have any spell check on this crappy computer I have. And one last thing this fic goes along with the events in the Bardock special or least I tried to make it do so.  
  
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The Pain of Loss  
  
Bardock stepped into his small house. He had been training Fasha and the others all day. He stripped off his armor of at the door and threw it on the sofa then went in search of his mate. He looked in the small kitchen where she was usually preparing dinner or some other meal. However she was not anywhere in the petite kitchen or the living room. Heading into their room Bardock found his mate. His sensitive saiyian ears picked up her mild sobs. He ventured down the halls to the source of the sound.  
  
For the longest time Bardock had been of the mindset of most of the saiyians, where having a mate meant weakness. For most of his life he had been against having a mate. However when he met Terran that all changed. Being with her gave him a feeling a sense of warmth and happiness that training or purging could never bring. Bardock snapped out of his trance when he reached the door of their room and went over to her.  
  
"Terran, what's the matter?" he sat down on the side of the bed, putting his hand on her shoulder and slowly began to massage the area.  
  
"Oh Bardock." she sobbed, sitting up and crying into his arms.  
  
"What's the matter?" he asked again. Terran looked up at the man that held her, her man.  
  
"I'm sorry," she mouthed.  
  
He knew talking to her verbally would prove useless, so he let down all his defenses and let her thoughts flow together with his. Bardock hadn't been fond of the idea of being bonded to this woman forever, sharing his inner most thoughts with her and knowing her inner most thoughts. But in the midst of their lovemaking he felt a sudden change of heart due to the joy and pleasure she was giving him that bonding himself forever more to Terran didn't seem so bad at all. Bardock felt all of his mate's pain and anguish. With his wall down he could fell a ki that belonged neither to him or his mate.  
  
*He's our son* Terran said through their bond her head hung.  
  
*You know what this means* he responded.  
  
*Why do you think I feel like this*  
  
King Vegeta had issued a proclamation that stated any child born of a third- class or elite saiyian was to be sent off to others worlds to be conquered. Any who disobey this law were sentenced to death along with their child. At that time the third class saiyian shared his mate's pain. For this was not the first son they would have to give up. Terran had always wanted a child or two for as long as he had known her. And while Bardock didn't like the idea of sharing his mate with anyone, even his own offspring, he would never deny her of that happiness. But now with all that happiness stripped away from her the saiyian could only comfort her in the only way he knew how. He held up her chin with his hand and began to try and kiss her pain away.  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Bardock came home after another long day of training. Feeling around for his Terran's ki he discovered it in a room of the house that they never used. He stepped quietly in the room and watched his mate weep yet again. Of late that was all she had been able to do. Bardock had discussed the option of terminating her pregnancy and just disposing of the baby but she wouldn't hear of it and been angry with him for two weeks afterwards for even thinking of it the idea. Letting down his guard yet again he asked her what was troubling her this time.  
  
*I don't think I can do it again* she stated plainly stroking her swollen belly; the blanket that had cradled their first son for mere minutes was wrapped around her.  
  
*What? * He asked knowing the answer to the question but still thinking that it would be better for her to talk about it.  
  
*Give up another child for the good of the saiyan empire*  
  
At first Bardock didn't want to remember what she was referring to. But he pulled the information from the depths of his memory that he had laid buried and forgotten. Because this would not be the first child that they would have to give up, there had been another. After Terran had given birth to him in and agonizing eight hours of labor they never saw him again. Bardock found out later that he had been named Radditz. Terran had known that once they took the boy, that she would never see him again or be able to be his mother. She had been depressed for almost a year afterwards and for a week refused to eat anything. It had been a slow road to recovery for Terran but with Bardock help she had pulled thru. He approached her and hugged her from behind as she continued to stroke her swollen stomach. Laying her head back on his shoulder she tried not to be sad if only for Bardock sake. He had never really talked to her about how he felt when they took his son or how he felt about this child. Like it was only yesterday the time for her delivery was almost upon them. Taking Terran up gingerly in his arms he took her from what would have been three-year-old Radditz's room into their own room. (a/n: I don't really know how many years separated the two so I just improvised)  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~  
  
Three nights later Terran awoke to an immense stab of pain in her stomach. She cried out and reached for Bardock's hand and he opened his eyes at the sudden movement.  
  
"What is it?" he asked hoping it was just a nightmare. Terran doubled over in pain unable to speak, clutching her stomach. Not know that else to do he held her in his arms and waited until the pain subsided to the point where she could speak again.  
  
"Is it time?" he asked his face glowing with concern.  
  
" Yes he's coming." she whispered softly  
  
Bardock got out of bed and walked over to the other side of the bed. He picked up his mate and flew her to the medical center adjacent to where we did his training.  
  
"Bardock." the saiyan called as he saw him walk towards him. he absorbed the scene before him and led the two to a small room with a bed and a bathroom.  
  
"Put her on the bed over there." the saiyan had instructed. Placing Terran, who was pale and unresponsive from the pain, on the bed. Bardock sat at the side of his mate while the saiyan prepared for Terran's birth.  
  
After three hours of Terran's screams and pushes a tiny cry filled the air. The tiny person Terran had expelled whined loudly in protest. The saiyan man took the child in his arms and handed him to an exhausted woman. He knew the rule of King Vegeta but he also didn't think it was fair for her to have to give up her child under threat of force, he reasoned a few moments alone with him wouldn't not harm anyone. They had never discussed names but Terran had a lot of time to think during the day and had chosen what she thought to be the perfect one.  
  
"My little Kakarott." she whispered as she took the child in her arms his tail swished about. Her pale faced turned to her mate showing off the tiny child.  
  
"Bardock isn't he beautiful." Bardock looked down at his son with indifference. He refused to form any kind of relationship with the screaming child over to have him sent to a planet so far away, to and uncertain future with no family to nurture him. After a couple of quiet hours with their son, a luxury they had not had with their first son, the man came back into the room again.  
  
"I'm sorry Bardock. I have to take the child to the observation wing. He will be leaving shortly for a planet to conquer."  
  
"Don't say your sorry to me. I'm not the one that has become attached to the brat. Take him for all I care." Terran looked up into the onyx eyes of her mate. She saw the pain of his giving up now his second son. He had buried all the pain under his mask of indifference that seemed so alien to her.  
  
"Alright my little Kakarott, you be a good boy and conquer as many planets as you want. Make your dad and me proud." kissing the small boy on the forehead, Terran handed her baby over to the man. Tears clouded her vision as the man walked out with the newborn. She barely felt it went Bardock picked her up again and flew them home less than hour late.  
  
Later that day Fasha came by to tell Bardock that there was a mission, and they needed to leave today so they could be there by the planet's full moon. He let down his wall again to tell Terran of the mission, who was in the other room still crying.  
  
* Oh no Bardock don't go, I need you don't have to go so soon...*  
  
*Yes I do what can I do * he said back to her.  
  
*But I can't lose you too, I just can't* he felt his mate begin to sob.  
  
*Who said anything about losing me? I am very hard to kill, I will be back very soon don't worry and try not to leave the house ever since the King allied himself with Frieza you never know what will happen *  
  
*Just come back to me soon and contact me when your on your way back*  
  
* I'll do my best* he raised his defenses once more, blocking her thoughts from his mind and flew out the door.  
  
"All right, lets go."  
  
"Wait a minute you look a little beat up. Maybe you get into a regeneration tank." Fasha suggested.  
  
"Yea maybe your right. No sense facing these aliens at half strength.  
  
Bardock awoke as the regeneration fluid was drained from the tank. Hurriedly he put on his clothes.  
  
"So those guys left with out me huh?" he said to the technician as he informed them that the others had left Planet Vegeta without him. Running down the hall Bardock passed the observation wing. He spotted his son.  
  
'What a shame he has a very low power level' he thought to himself as he continued running and jumped into his pod to follow the others.  
  
Bardock powered up outside of the Planet Vegeta. They had killed his crew in cold blood. Then Dodoria had almost managed to kill him. He had tried to warn to other saiyans of their impending doom. But to no avail, they had ignored him. Now he floated mid-air as he confronted Freiza's soldiers. As Frezia elicited a blast from in finger. For what he knew would be the last time he lowered his mental wall and talked spoken to a terror stricken Terran as Frezia threw the blast he told Terran he had never been happier in his life then when she was around him.  
  
His thoughts still lay with Terran and the two sons she had given up. He hoped that at least they would get a chance at life. That blast would probably take out the whole planet. However all was not lost. Their sons would live and grow up as saiyans, one day hopefully they would avenge the death of the saiyans by destroying Frezia and he and Terran would be together in the afterlife.  
  
"Kakarott..." Bardock said as everything went black and the proud Planet Vegeta was no more than a few meteors and space dust.  
  
The End I hope you liked it and please be sure and review for pretty please 


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